Quagtappad is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, ill-tempered dryad.

Quagtappad created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagtappad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quagtappad, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quagtappad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Quagtappad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.