Afstiklan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, kind jaguar.

Afstiklan created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Afstiklan, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Afstiklan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Afstiklan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Afstiklan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green shrews for they are unholy.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Never paint your neck red.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.