Donhugfarlan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, smart bear.

Donhugfarlan created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Donhugfarlan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Donhugfarlan, he will strike you with lightening.

Donhugfarlan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Donhugfarlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if five tortoises approach from the south.