Stafhamcit is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating naga.

Stafhamcit created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Stafhamcit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stafhamcit, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Stafhamcit's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Stafhamcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.