Mapflablun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring zebra.

Mapflablun created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapflablun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapflablun, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mapflablun's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Mapflablun's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect three titanium sculptures of Mapflablun on top of important buildings.