Bogkonfod is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish monkey.

Bogkonfod created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogkonfod, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bogkonfod, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bogkonfod's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bogkonfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never pour water over plants.