Flampodspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, clever aardvark.

Flampodspag created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flampodspag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flampodspag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Flampodspag's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Flampodspag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flampodspag on top of all buildings.

2. Hide from cyan mites for they are unholy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.