Quimdotten is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-powerful monkey.

Quimdotten created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimdotten, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quimdotten, it will try to impress you with trees.

Quimdotten's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Quimdotten's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Run away from mauve capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the east.