Haktigved Hivbifgarlim is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fussy newt.

Haktigved Hivbifgarlim created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haktigved Hivbifgarlim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Haktigved Hivbifgarlim, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Haktigved Hivbifgarlim's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Haktigved Hivbifgarlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

4. Always help cats in need.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.