Tifbombass is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humorless mink.

Tifbombass created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tifbombass, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tifbombass, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tifbombass' most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tifbombass' Holy Commandments

1. Tifbombass loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat green fruit.