Hatbotlam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, deceitful cat.

Hatbotlam created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatbotlam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hatbotlam, it will not invite you to parties.

Hatbotlam's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hatbotlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo ear rings.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Run away if three doves approach from the west.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Always obey Hatbotlam's priests.