Kemkemmad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, contented dog.

Kemkemmad created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Kemkemmad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kemkemmad, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kemkemmad's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Kemkemmad's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think ill of sick bats.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.