Rullpakmab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered crane.

Rullpakmab created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullpakmab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rullpakmab, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rullpakmab's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Rullpakmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.