Vegsatlinman is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, conceited meerkat.

Vegsatlinman created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegsatlinman, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vegsatlinman, she will laugh at you.

Vegsatlinman's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vegsatlinman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Put Vegsatlinman first in all things.

5. Do not hurt otters.