Tunsasquim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, temperamental crow.

Tunsasquim created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunsasquim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tunsasquim, she will not invite you to parties.

Tunsasquim's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tunsasquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of tapirs.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Run away from magenta bats, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.