Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciful wasp.

Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Retreat if seven squirrels approach from the west.

3. Worship no other gods but Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag.

4. You must pray to Zaggunkinbantif Cussnillpag nine times a day.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.