Lamgarsisvad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, calm hummingbird.

Lamgarsisvad created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgarsisvad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lamgarsisvad, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lamgarsisvad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Lamgarsisvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never paint your neck orange.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Fast once a month.