Nulbetflatsabwongamfiglap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, weak goblin.

Nulbetflatsabwongamfiglap created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nulbetflatsabwongamfiglap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nulbetflatsabwongamfiglap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nulbetflatsabwongamfiglap's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Nulbetflatsabwongamfiglap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to shrews while wearing red kilts.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Never wear magenta coats.

5. Never talk about fire.