Damflanrap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful dolphin.

Damflanrap created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damflanrap, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Damflanrap, she will turn you into a mouse.

Damflanrap's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Damflanrap's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Do not bounce in public.