Metquafrot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty deer.

Metquafrot created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metquafrot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metquafrot, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Metquafrot's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Metquafrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect six silicon sculptures of Metquafrot on top of important buildings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.