Tonktonfag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited snake.

Tonktonfag created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonktonfag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tonktonfag, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tonktonfag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tonktonfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. You must pray to Tonktonfag three times a day.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Never talk about moons.