Arfhonyok is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, cheerful centaur.

Arfhonyok created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfhonyok, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arfhonyok, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Arfhonyok's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Arfhonyok's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Arfhonyok on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Run away from mauve capybaras, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.