Quimfonstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, selfish ferret.

Quimfonstaf created an electron two years ago.

If you believe in Quimfonstaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quimfonstaf, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quimfonstaf's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Quimfonstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quimfonstaf.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never paint your chest mauve.