Flagnatkem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish crow.

Flagnatkem created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Flagnatkem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flagnatkem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flagnatkem's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Flagnatkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Hide if five manatees approach from the north.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.