Ganmegcen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, egotistical seal.

Ganmegcen created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Ganmegcen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ganmegcen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ganmegcen's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ganmegcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Ganmegcen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Do not wear white clothing.