Lakgofwab is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, flying camel.

Lakgofwab created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakgofwab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lakgofwab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Lakgofwab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Lakgofwab's Holy Commandments

1. Lakgofwab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Lakgofwab on top of all buildings.

3. You must pray to Lakgofwab three times a day.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Never feed figs to snails while wearing white kilts.