Ponlenpadflisteen is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witless troll.

Ponlenpadflisteen created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponlenpadflisteen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ponlenpadflisteen, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ponlenpadflisteen's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Ponlenpadflisteen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not eat peas.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.