Yarhanmut Wantailjen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying wombat.

Yarhanmut Wantailjen created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yarhanmut Wantailjen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarhanmut Wantailjen, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yarhanmut Wantailjen's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yarhanmut Wantailjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.