Nartkapyat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring pig.

Nartkapyat created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Nartkapyat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nartkapyat, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nartkapyat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Nartkapyat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nartkapyat.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Never hurt great tits.

5. Never think about gravity.