Ortmislad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak dragonfly.

Ortmislad created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Ortmislad, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ortmislad, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ortmislad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ortmislad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Ortmislad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pray towards the east.