Janpinlist is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humane human.

Janpinlist created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janpinlist, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Janpinlist, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Janpinlist's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Janpinlist's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Janpinlist on top of important buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never sing near ducks.

4. Janpinlist loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not take Janpinlist's name in vain.