Pigquamxem is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic hyena.

Pigquamxem created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigquamxem, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pigquamxem, it will turn you into a tree.

Pigquamxem's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pigquamxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

5. Erect four carbon sculptures of Pigquamxem on top of important buildings.