Raktar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy tortoise.

Raktar created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raktar, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Raktar, he will have a low opinion of you.

Raktar's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Raktar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Raktar.

2. Run away if nine gulls approach from the north.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.