Veenquatfar is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited wolf.

Veenquatfar created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenquatfar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Veenquatfar, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Veenquatfar's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Veenquatfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about gravity.