Padstanmid is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, wise naga.

Padstanmid created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padstanmid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Padstanmid, it will turn you into a sheep.

Padstanmid's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Padstanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Erect six silver sculptures of Padstanmid on top of important buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.