Ladtungut is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic whale.

Ladtungut created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtungut, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ladtungut, he will turn you into a sheep.

Ladtungut's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Ladtungut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Sharks are not to be trusted.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ladtungut.