Komtonkwiktarsterdit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish raven.

Komtonkwiktarsterdit created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Komtonkwiktarsterdit, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Komtonkwiktarsterdit, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Komtonkwiktarsterdit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Komtonkwiktarsterdit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Do not make images of living things.