Bumzakxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful faun.

Bumzakxuc created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumzakxuc, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bumzakxuc, he will think nothing of it.

Bumzakxuc's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bumzakxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.