Komdutsag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident slug.

Komdutsag created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komdutsag, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Komdutsag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Komdutsag's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Komdutsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat great tits with great respect.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Komdutsag.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.