Sitkemxem is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless gerbil.

Sitkemxem created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitkemxem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sitkemxem, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sitkemxem's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Sitkemxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Sitkemxem's priests.

2. Do not speak about melons.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Never run near capybaras.