Waplamkim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody squid.

Waplamkim created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Waplamkim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Waplamkim, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Waplamkim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Waplamkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Never write about moons.