Vensidmobsit is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ruthless human.

Vensidmobsit created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vensidmobsit, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vensidmobsit, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Vensidmobsit's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vensidmobsit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vensidmobsit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Run away from turquoise mites, for they are unholy.

5. Never sit in the presence of birds.