Jamtiklib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, generous raccoon.

Jamtiklib created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamtiklib, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jamtiklib, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jamtiklib's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Jamtiklib's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Jamtiklib on top of important buildings.

3. You must love Jamtiklib.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never mention badgers.