Yatzakpig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, narcissistic unicorn.

Yatzakpig created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Yatzakpig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yatzakpig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yatzakpig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Yatzakpig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never paint your face green.