Barnzagcintail is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless raccoon.

Barnzagcintail created light two years ago.

If you believe in Barnzagcintail, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Barnzagcintail, he will turn you into a frog.

Barnzagcintail's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Barnzagcintail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. You must pray to Barnzagcintail six times a day.

3. Never run in the presence of great tits.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never eat bark.