Wadpinyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, overgenerous coyote.

Wadpinyarp created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadpinyarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wadpinyarp, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wadpinyarp's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Wadpinyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not chop down trees.