Mutmabyimtim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, happy pig.

Mutmabyimtim created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutmabyimtim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Mutmabyimtim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Mutmabyimtim's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Mutmabyimtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hide if eight porpoises approach from the east.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Always take life seriously.