Bimganwik is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonest frog.

Bimganwik created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimganwik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bimganwik, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bimganwik's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bimganwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Do not hurt sharks.