Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget is a god.

It takes the form of a small, narcissistic yak.

Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget seven times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Put Tofsafdot Cunpakgup Kimxemget first in all things.