Binfumnart is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, generous squid.

Binfumnart created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Binfumnart, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Binfumnart, he will boil you in a big pot.

Binfumnart's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Binfumnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Run away from purple sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.